I’m Not Saying “Don’t Buy” BUT…

Yes, I Was a Dummy

I have had to shop for more than a few used cars in recent years, and up to this point, I’ve had a good run of it.

As one would expect, each purchase came with its gremlins to chase, but there was nothing that was out of the ordinary or completely out of line.

How this time began:

• My daughter, her boyfriend, and their five kids needed a “new” van with all due haste.
• My mother, bless her soul, worked some financial magic and set me to task scouting vehicles. Pickings were slim and our first choice didn’t pan out, so we went with the runner up: Gary Moulton.
• Gary Moulton had been recommended to me by people whose opinion I respect on a few different occasions. I’d even helped the aforementioned daughter purchase a seemingly nice little Accord from them some years before. (Turns out this was before Sharp bought them out.)
• Because there was already a certain expectation of quality – and because I really, really wanted my kids squared away A.S.A.P. (because reasons) – I decided to forego my usual hours/days of trips to car lots and poring over vehicle data before I finally went to try and horn my way into one of my favorite mechanics’ shops during a test drive.

Wednesday

Once we’d decided to go with Gary Moulton, I reached out to them and managed 2 things:

• Placed a $500 reservation on the van. (It’d be a minute before we could get it, and we didn’t want it getting sold out from under us.)
• Talked them down from $11,995 to a smidge over $11,000. (We only had $12,500, and taxes/fees to deal with.)

I walked in on a Wednesday afternoon (October 1st, to be exact), signed all the necessary papers, walked out with the keys, and took “Ditto” for its first joy ride.

A couple of hours later, I was safely back in town and cautiously optimistic that the purchase was a sound one.

Thursday

Too early Thursday morning, I dragged my tired behind out of bed and headed to one of my favorite mechanics’ shops – DT’s – to get a proper idea of where Ditto’s gremlins were lurking.

Ever have a mechanic livid on your behalf?

I hadn’t, not ’til that day anyway.

Between what we paid for it, the shape it was in, and the fact that it was even sold by a dealership in the first place, the senior of the bunch ended up on a tear. His reaction was heartening and just amusing enough to soften the blows that landed squarely on my shoulders as we all toured the undercarriage and talked about what they found.

Yes, I saw everything with my own eyes, so this wasn’t some “they’re just trying to take advantage of you” situation. (This is one reason they’re a favorite of mine.)

I was properly chided for not having gone to them before giving up a single red cent, then given a list of honey-do’s before I set off to Gary Moulton once more.

There, I was greeted with the following:

• “Did you test drive, get it inspected?”
• “This is what you get when you buy used.”
• “Text Matt.”

Alright, fine. I’m gonna do just that – and then some.

Rather than tear the office up – and “him” a new one – I walked out, texted Matt, and didn’t leave the lot until he responded.

He asked for my list of complaints and said he could take the van the next day, so I went on home.

Friday

I dropped the van off at the specified time and got a call about five hours later saying that it was ready to be picked up. The drop-off and pickup were done through the dealership (Benchmark Auto Credit), so I had to text Matt yet again to answer some questions.

Part of our text exchange after pickup:

The entire experience to this point left me feeling that I shouldn’t trust what I was told, so I made plans to visit yet another favorite mechanics’ shop – 4S this time – first thing Saturday.

Saturday

I only wanted two things from the fellas at 4S:

• An alignment.
• An “all clear.”

I was already planning to write a scathing paragraph or two for any review site that so much as hinted at Gary Moulton, but I was all set to leave it at that – until my new, rotund bestie was basically like “uhhhhhh…”

Five things.

My list had five (somewhat) little things.

One and a half were addressed by Matt and his merry band of “mechanics.”

And my bestie just about broke my heart when he found a sixth thing that really, really should have been fixed.

So here we are.

The Price

Remember: the original sticker price was $11,955. (Archived Listing) They kindly (🙄) dropped the price to $11,048.40, so we’d walk out with that $12,500 all-in.

JD Power says:

Not even getting into the taxes and fees, we basically paid twice fair market value for a vehicle that wasn’t even safe to drive off the lot.

And they were happy to let us!

Safety

Tops among the things one must be able to do when driving: steer and stop.

Brakes

The first things on my list of honey-do’s from D.T.’s were the front and rear brakes and rotors. AskMyAuto has a handy little illustration to help us understand just how bad the brake pads – and, as a result, the rotors – really are/were:

They told me the front brakes were at about 30%, which puts them right on the cusp of being in the danger zone.

This was the “half” in the one and a half mentioned above – they replaced the front brakes and rotors.

The rear pads were worse. And they weren’t replaced – so I get to show you all just how bad they were (with a picture of a new pad for reference):

Don’t you just love how the two old pads add up to equal one new one?

Luckily my bestie informed me that we only needed pads for the rear – for now. Next time those are replaced, we’ll have to deal with the rotors, too, and that will tack on another couple hundred bucks.

Steering

I lodged two complaints in the “steering” department: the tie rods and the sway bar links. Short version:

• Tie rods, in essence, connect your steering wheel to your tires. When these fail, you lose control of your vehicle.
• Sway bar links are part of (some) suspension systems. They stabilize your vehicle, keep your tires planted firmly on the ground, and help you maintain control when turning and dealing with bumps, potholes, etc.

Both of these going bad can lead to other fun things – like tire wear (and blowouts), poor alignment and handling, and more major (read: expensive) suspension issues.

Neither was fixed, unless you want to call this fixed:

Sure hope whatever they cut off wasn’t, you know, important or anything.

The Tire

Rounding out the really, really important bits, we bounce back to my bestie breaking my heart. Get a load of this 💩:

The front, passenger-side tire was balder than Jean-Luc Picard.

---

Take a moment, if you will, and imagine the combination of bad brakes, bad steering, and a bad tire – especially a bad front tire.

THIS IS WHAT MY BABIES AND GRANDBABIES WERE GOING TO BE RIDING AROUND WITH.

The “Other” Stuff

Closing out the list of honey-do’s:

The Transmission Cooling Lines

The “one” from the one and a half things:

These little hoses do exactly what one would expect: route transmission fluid to and from the radiator to cool it. They were leaking. And they better not be now, because who needs to drop an extra few grand on a new transmission, especially after over-paying for a “wreck” of a vehicle?

The Motor Mount

Ah, motor mounts – those lovely little things that keep your engine from shaking too much. If you didn’t know, excessive vibrations and “jolts” (cranking, shifting gears, going, stopping) can wreak havoc on your engine and its bits.

Pulleys wobble. Belts shred. Gaskets break apart faster. You end up with water, oil, dirt, sludge, and gods know what else in places it shouldn’t be. You end up having to replace the whole damn thing.

Here’s what a busted motor mount looks like, in case you were wondering:

The Whole Damn Thing

Speaking of having to replace a motor: I’m about 99.999% sure that’s exactly what happened to poor Ditto.

On our tour of the undercarriage at DT’s:

Mech1: “It’s marked, too. This isn’t the original engine.”

Mech2: “Junkyard?”

Me (inwardly): “OMFGGGGGGGGGGGG please, no!”

Mech1: “Nah, it’s too clean.”

Me (again, inwardly): “Thank you Sweet Baby Jesus!!!”

When I tell y’all my heart damn near hit the floor and kept digging to the molten core of this planet…? PHEW!

What really strikes me: Whoever replaced the engine (my guess, “Matt”) likely busted the motor mount – or the bad motor mount was part of the reason the engine had to be replaced in the first place, and they still didn’t bother to replace it.

Another related, not-so-fun fact: The archived listing advertised the mileage at 125,019. The papers I signed? 129,880. That’s a difference of 4,861 miles.

Given the state the motor oil was in when we checked it, the original engine could have just as easily ended up with a blown head gasket, thanks to the feckless fools at Gary Moulton.

That’s right, folks: they couldn’t even be bothered to CHANGE. THE. OIL.

Speaking of oil changes!

I took Ditto in for theirs, right? Guy servicing the van brings me the air filter.

There. Were. Spider. Eggs.

Can you imagine what would have happened if those eggs had hatched and those wee eight-legged freaks found their way into the cabin – especially if it happened while the kids were driving??? 👀

(Also found out the coolant was trash, so I had to spring for a radiator flush, too. Fun times.)

The Spam

This may border on nitpicking, but – given the world we live in today – I really, really don’t like giving out my personal information. And I loathe when I have to give that information out – and it ends up in a 3rd-party’s hands.

I gave these guys my jealously-guarded email address so that they could email me a receipt for the deposit we made. I did not consent to them passing along that information to anyone else, but they did just that.

A couple of days after we actually purchased the van, I started getting emails from “Endurance” bugging me to take them up on their oh-so-awesome extended warranty coverage.

Every other day for two and a half weeks, I got “reminder” emails telling me to hurry up and accept before their offer expired.

When it became apparent that they wouldn’t leave me alone, even after their offer expired, I bit the bullet and hit the Unsubscribe link. (A risk in itself.) I figured that’d be the end of it, but nope!

They sent me mail.

Yep, like actual paper in an envelope via the post office mail.

So not only did Gary Moulton give out my email address, they gave out my mailing address as well.

Do you know how often companies that collect personal information like this sell it to others? Not to mention the fact that you can barely turn on the news anymore without hearing about user data being exposed in a “security breach.”

And now, thanks to Gary Moulton, that’s just one more potential leak I get to look forward to my information being included in.

It’s a lot, I know, so here’s a refresher:

The honey-do’s:

Front brakes & rotors.

Rear brakes & rotors.

Transmission cooling lines

Tie rods.

Motor mount.

Sway bar links.

Further Fuckery

Oil change.

Shady motor.

Bad tire.

Abuse of personal information.

Grifters.

Liars.

One pissed off mama-bear.

(Hear me roar!)

Even being generous and saying the van was worth $8,000, that’s a solid $6,600 that should have never had to leave our pockets.

The messed up part about all this is that, if I trusted my skills and had the time, I could have done a lot of these repairs myself. The parts are cheap(ish), and I could have saved a lot on labor. But I wanted experts to make sure my babies are safe.

I would have had very little problem paying Gary Moulton a few extra grand (or Matt a stack and some change) if it meant that I was getting a vehicle I could rely on for a while to come. I’ve done it before – with great success.

But what you’re not gonna do is sell me an accident waiting to happen for a price that makes it look like you actually made it road-worthy and not hear about it.

And you’re damn sure not going to outright lie to me and not get called out.

Work not covered by the warranty? Fine. Let me pay you.

Don’t want to do the work? That’s cool too. I’m happy to give that money to somebody else.

Not only did Matt claim his mechanics made the requested repairs, he also told me I didn’t need to get an alignment after said repairs – despite the fact that an alignment is actually recommended after all sorts of front-end/suspension work.

Technically I didn’t really, really need one – but only because he didn’t do the work. And he was probably trying to avoid me finding out he didn’t do the work. Too bad an alignment is one of the first things I do when I buy a vehicle – not that I wouldn’t have double-checked his work anyway after all this. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Weeks later, I went in to pick up my new tag. On telling Mr. Gaslight that his boy failed to complete the repairs, I got the “Oh no! 😱” treatment – like he really gave a damn. (As if he didn’t know.)

I told him, on more than one occasion, what would happen if that happened – but I bet he didn’t believe me. And he damn sure didn’t know what a stink I can raise when properly inspired.

Soon, all y’all will be getting an eyeful of neon pointing you to this page – so to you I say “heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy buddy!”

I have a few parting words of wisdom for ya:

Pick the Right People

Despite what some would have you believe – low-quality vehicles don’t have to be “what you get when you buy used.” They may be few, but there are reputable used car dealerships out there. You just have to look for them.

Going with a major dealership (Ford, Nissan, Kia, etc.) may cost more – but “Certified Pre-owned” is your friend.

Going local? Look. Them. Up. Check out their reviews and find whatever you can about their business history. Ask around. Master the art of search-fu.

If you’re in Tallahassee, I’ll happily recommend Taylor Auto. My first purchase with them was an Explorer that stayed with me for more than a decade – and we’ve gone to them a few times since.

Ask your mechanic – or any mechanic. Many local mechanics’ shops will occasionally end up with a vehicle they’re looking to sell – and you’d be pretty safe in betting that they’ve done some work on it. Even if they don’t fix and sell vehicles, there’s a good chance they know someone who does.

I can say for sure that DT’s, 4S, and Tyson’s Garage are good places to ask. Tire Town & Muffler – and Sirmon’s – might be, too. (And they’re all tops for repairs, if you need them.)

Do Your Homework

Get the vehicle’s VIN number.

Run it through a VIN decoder.

Consider purchasing a vehicle history report. (Bonus points if you find a dealer that gives you one – like Taylor Auto.)

Read reviews (but take them with a grain of salt).

Find out how much you should be paying.

Go in prepared, stand firm, and maybe you’ll save yourself a few grand – and a lot of heartache.

Above all else, before you buy, remember this:

GET. IT. INSPECTED. ✌️